Expat Adventures continued

Expat Adventures, Ep. #134b

Yesterday I had the little operation to repair my trigger finger. As I wrote in mid-November, I’d injured it 2 months ago while cleaning my gun when I broke M’s carbon Putzstock. The handle snapped off and sliced through my finger. I put some Bepanthen on it and a band-aid, thinking it would heal on its own. The doc diagnosed the resulting wound as an Überbein, which translates, among other things, to “Bible cyst.”

Thanks to my son’s girlfriend, who is studying to become a Physician Assistant, I now know that it got that name because back in the day people used to take care of such cysts by slamming a Bible (the biggest and heaviest book in everyone’s home) on it. PSA: This method is no longer recommended.

I showed up punctually for my “surgery,” and after waiting in the holding pen for two hours, I was shown into the operating room. The doc numbed my finger with a shot of Novacaine on each side and then went for his lunch break while it took effect.

When he returned the finger was deadened, and he started slicing away. He pulled an 8mm piece of the carbon Putzstock out of my finger, and asked if I wanted it back. I said “Yes, actually my husband said I should ask for it, though I think he was joking.”

Nurse: “He’s a Swabian? Of course he wants it back. They’re so sparsam (thrifty), he probably wants it to put the Putzstock back together!”

The doc asked if I need a Krankschreibung - a doctor's note to get out of work. Uhh...for a slightly damaged finger? No. M says Germans love those and doctors offer them freely. These days I only teach one evening a week, so I think I can handle it.

Then the nurse wrapped me up. Goodness gracious!

With Saturday’s Drückjagd looming a day and half away, I asked her what I am allowed to do and not do with that bandage. She said I can do anything, just not let the bandage get wet. Tromping through the forest for 2 ½ hours as a Treiber alternately sweating and getting rained or snowed on shouldn’t be a problem then.

I did go in for a bandage change this morning and got one much more reasonable in size. I spent this afternoon (Friday) experimenting to see what I can accomplish while keeping the thing dry. First things first, I can still do a Falknerknoten (falconer’s knot) with only three good fingers and a thumb. Priorities.

Good thing I won't be shooting tomorrow,
'cuz that's my trigger finger!

I then put on a rubber glove (who knew a year ago how often we’d be glad to have a huge box of single-use rubber gloves in the house?) and taped it with adhesive tape, and was thus able to wash my hair. That works for doing dishes and washing the floor as well. I only had it on for 30 minutes, though, not the 4+ hours I’ll have to keep it dry in the woods tomorrow. I was able to get my Treiber pants and jacket on, and if you’re wondering what would be so hard about that, wrap your index finger in a sock and then get dressed up in winter gear. It’s not that big a deal, but it’s awkward. Happily I discovered that, even with my trigger finger twice its usual size, I can still type relatively normally.

It doesn’t fit into the bright orange Treiber-gloves M bought me for my birthday, so my Schwiegermutter suggested I cover it with a plastic bag and a winter sock, which I just might do!

Incidentally, M has not asked me to do any gun-cleaning since I lost the fight with his carbon Putzstock. So I guess I have a sort of Krankschreibung after all.

*********

One last expat-related note: I am pubicly insured, and I won't see a bill for any of this - 5 doctor's visits including getting stitches out in 10 days and minor surgery. I have no deductible. Medication (anti-biotics & pain killers I didn't need) cost €5 total. In the Homeland I'd have to re-think  Christmas to pay for this. 

For those who are curious, here's the carbon piece, which was lodged between my cuticle and knuckle, next to my undamaged finger for size comparison.

Expat Adventures

 Expat Adventures, Ep. #134

I don't generally go to the doctor unless the pain I'm experiencing has me in tears or I can't walk right. This means I've been to the E.R. or a family doctor - the former resulted in several referrals - twice since moving here eight years ago. I usually say in the U.S. we commonly avoid the doctor - many of us can't afford what it costs - but my daughter has informed me that this is yet another Midwestern thing - that we wait until things are serious because otherwise we feel we're wasting the doctor's time.

However, I messed up my trigger finger while - I kid you not - cleaning my gun. I was shoving a cleaning thingy through the barrel with M's carbon Putzstock (cleaning rod?), which broke at the handle, slicing through my finger and leaving it blackened and meaty. Unpleasant words were used. I've suspected a carbon splinter has been stuck in there since then, but I figured it would probably work its way out like a sliver.

It didn't, and I'm starting to lose part of the nail. So I called a nearby doc, whom I'd visited a few years ago when I had a gammy ankle. I was surprised to get an appointment for the next day (today).

He asked when this happened.

Me: "On October 4th."

Doc (raising an eyebrow): "That was six weeks ago."

Me (thinking, You know about health care in the US? We don't go to the doctor for a flesh wound): "Yes."

Doc (looking at the digit): "Yeah, there's a Fremdkörper (foreign body) in there. When was your last Impfung (vaccination)?"

Me: "Probably when I was five."  (I've never even had a flu shot.)

Doc: "You don't have an Impfpass (vaccination passport/record, which all Germans seem to have)?"

Me: "No, that's not really a thing where I'm from, except for children."

Doc: "Where are you from?"

Me: "The U.S."

Doc (wry grin): "Whom did you vote for?"  (I am not kidding)

Me: "NOT Trump. Most of my family did, though - except for my children."

Doc: "Really?"

Me: "Yep."

Doc (back to the business at hand): "Ok, you'll get a tetanus shot, and then I'll write you a referral to see the surgeon in Horb now."

Me: "Do you mean right now?"

Doc: "Yes, it would be best you go straight there this morning."

Seriously, you wouldn't go
to the doc for that either, would you?

It turns out I should have called first, but I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. The surgeon is apparently going to slice my finger open and dig the carbon piece(s) out. That should be fun.

seemingly random falconry-related photo

When the nurse came in to give me the tetanus shot, she asked if I'm right-handed, which I am. She said then she'll put it in my left shoulder. Hm... When I work with the falconer and his Habicht, the 1-kg bird sits on my Falknerhandschuh on my left hand. If an arm is going to be sore, I don't want it to be my left one. I asked her to stick it in my right arm after all.

I also made an appointment for next week to get my first flu shot. The nurse said I should wait a week after the tetanus shot.

So maybe I'll get my very own Impfpass now! I wonder if I can also find out what blood type I have.

Update (19.11.2020): They x-rayed the finger but nothing showed up. The surgeon says it's a cyst caused by the injury, and he'll numb the finger and cut it out in two weeks (first available appointment). He said I'll be krankgeschrieben (have a sick note) after that and might not be able to work until after Christmas. For a small finger wound? I think that's a bit much. 

P.S. The episode # of my Expat Adventure is totally random.

Ten Popular Things

10 Popular Things I've Never Really Cared For

A college acquaintance of mine posted this listy thing on his social media page (albeit without explanations), and I thought it was an interesting topic to ponder. Nine were relatively easy to think of, but I had trouble coming up with a tenth. I don't do the tagging-other-people thing, but if you're a blogger and decide to give this a shot, let me know and I'll come and check out your list! Otherwise go ahead and put some of your answers in the comments.

So here we go. But first a Steinkauz to set the tone.

10. Sheboygan brats

You might have to be from Wisconsin to know these, but "brats" (short for "bratwurst" though they're nothing like German Bratwürste, which I also don't like much) are hugely popular there, especially at "brat frys," which are held pretty much every weekend somewhere from March or April through September.

9. Halloween

I don't like masks or costumes that include concealing the face. Masks worn for Covid-19 are a different ballgame - those aren't for stupid fun and silly games. I also don't think it's a good idea to have children beg for candy from stranger. Haunted houses, Halloween decorations, horror movies, costume parties...just none of it. Thank God it's only one day of the year.

8. Mystery novels

I know I'm missing lots of obvious hints as I'm reading and I want to know what those are to get the most out of the book. So generally I skip to the end after the first chapter to find out who did it. That defeats the purpose, obviously. I don't want to be tricked and misled by the writer while I'm reading a book.

7. Chicken soup

I actually don't like any broth soup. It doesn't matter whether I'm sick, or cold, or need comfort food - broth soup is just not for me. It also doesn't matter what's in it - noodles, chunks of chicken, corn, vegetables, all of the above... I like homemade cream soups and tomato soup, just not broth.

6. Gardening

There was a time, the first year or two after I moved to Germany, when I did sort of enjoy gardening, so "never" isn't exactly true. But lately it's just a chore to get over with. Weeding, planting, clipping, etc., aren't the worst chores I can imagine, but I'd rather wash windows.

5. Nutella

That is not chocolate, it's brown hazelnut spread. And even if it were chocolate, chocolate does not belong on my bread. It is an understatement to say I do not like the taste of hazelnut. Many a good ball of chocolate (such as in an Adventskalender) has been ruined for me by hazelnut filling. Blech.

4. Texting / WhatsApp

I'm a 10-finger typist. I need a keyboard. Those short message things are for me strictly for near-emergencies or short schedule notices ("Train delay, arrival now 13:35"). Even typing something like that takes me longer than it should because I have to keep correcting my mistakes. It first looks more like this: "Tfaun deöay, attival noe 133:35."

3. Winter & snow

My daughter's Golf after a Wisconsin snowstorm

I don't like being cold. I don't like being wet. Cold and wet is the worst, so being out in snow and winter is one of my least favorite things. When I was young (teenager and younger) I remember enjoying cross-country skiing - until I got cold and wet. I quite like southwestern German winters, though it does rain a lot. There's just not the layer of ice and snow one has in Wisconsin for months, making driving treacherous. It doesn't get very cold here, which is probably "thanks" to climate change.

2. Parades

This might come from my having to march in so many when I was a kid. Labor Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Homecoming... I was either in the school marching band pretending to play my flute because I never memorized more than the first 7 notes, or marching in my silly brown or green uniform with the Brownies or Girl Scouts waving at throngs of onlookers for what felt like a 25-mile hike on concrete. Spectating is even worse because of the crowds of people and screaming kids. No thanks.

1. Beer

I still remember my first beer - in Esslingen during the exchange when I was 17. I ordered it at some dance or party we were at because I could, and after my first gulp I choked back a gag and secretly wondered why the hell anyone would drink that willingly. I'm sure I tried to play it cool as I also later did in college, but that stuff is nasty. On a scorching hot day after some physical effort or exercise I can enjoy a Radler - beer mixed with Sprite or something similar - but otherwise, no.

No thanks.

In case this came across as too negative in these already trying times, here are ten things I like very much!

10. Corn on the cob
9.  Easter
8.  Historical novels
7.  Cream soups
6.  Cooking, and even more - assisting M (he's the better cook)
5.  Cream Cheese
4.  Writing long emails or hand-written letters
3.  Spring
2.  Solitary walks in the forest
1.  Grauburgunder (a dry white wine)

Hihowareyou??

I am so damn sick of superficiality. Smartphones and Facebook & Co. have turned us into people who don’t have time for real communication with each other because we’re too busy playing games and scrolling through our feeds to see if we missed some meaningless thing that we can “like” or “LOL” about. And talking with each other about something deep and meaningful? Well, forget that. Small talk. That’s safe and noncommittal. We don’t have to think if we stick to small talk. “Hihowareyou?” Even German teens I spoke to recently knew before I “warned” them that this isn’t actually a question and that there’s only one correct answer to it in the U.S.: “Fine, thanks, how are you?” Don’t bother with anything else.

In November 2014 a former German student of mine in Wisconsin – a really nice and funny kid in my class and on my first trip with students to Germany in 2000, whom I remember well – brutally attacked, tortured, and repeatedly stabbed a couple in Virginia and is now serving two life sentences + 98 years. When the cops found him he was wearing only an adult diaper and muttering in German. German he learned from me, presumably.

Last November a friend of mine here in our area allegedly murdered a close friend of his – a wealthy German man who was very involved with helping local refugees. M.O. is/was as friendly as an American – had a huge smile whenever he saw me or anyone else, and had asked me to tutor him in English because he wanted to go to the US someday. We never got around to that and weren’t closer friends only due to lack of more effort on my part. I wrote a blog post about him after he’d submitted a letter to the local newspaper about how grateful the Syrians were for Germany’s welcome and help. I introduced my dad to him. We took photos.

I heard about the crime when it was reported and a few days later learned from a mutual friend who the alleged killer was. I did not believe it. I know him. I also did not believe it a few weeks later as more details emerged. It just didn’t compute. It still doesn’t. He has been sitting in U-Haft since November, accused of the crime. After months of investigation he and an accomplice were officially charged recently and there will be a trial. I still remember and think of him as he was when I last saw him – same with my former student.

What’s my point? I don’t know. Things happen. People snap and do horrible things. How do you know your good friend (or, as in the case of my former student, the spouse of an employee you fired) isn’t going to turn on you? How do you know anyone? You don't. I can count on one hand minus a few fingers the number of people who really know me and want to. That's ok. Maybe it's best that way.

But yeah… I am done with superficial conversations and small talk. I’m done with “Hihowareyou?”

What are you struggling with? What are you passionate about? What makes you tick? How can we make our relationship/friendship better? What do you need from me? What can I learn from you? Let’s talk about politics, gun laws, climate change, and religion. Let’s challenge each other! Let’s talk about why I annoy you. 

Ha, never mind that last one. It’s probably because I can't stand small talk and superficiality.

By the way, it's probably best if you don't ask me how I am for a while. I am not "fine".

Life Lately and Money Diaries Part 2

Money Diaries 21.01. - 27.01.2019

Part 2: Thursday-Sunday

Click here for Part 1.

Donnerstag

€178,80  AirBnB

Heaven help me, I didn't leave the house today either, but I still managed to spend some money. I reserved my accommodations for the second and third weeks of my hunting class, and the above is my down payment for the Dachwohnung (flat) I've booked for early July through AirBnB. I'll stay at a hotel in the nearest village during the third week, and although I've reserved that room as well, I haven't had to pay yet.

On days I don't leave the house, I don't just lie around all day. I do laundry and dishes, dust and/or vacuum, tidy up and clean, prepare dinner, and study for the Jägerprüfung, but I also spend too much time on the computer: emailing, checking Facebook for new videos of Poldi, working on exchange programm stuff, writing a blog post, and checking U.S. news. I really need to get out more, walk more, move more.

Freitag

€35,46   Real  (€42,81 - €7,35 Pfand (deposit))

Today's errands were making an appointment with the local Notar so that we can write (handwrite - required in Germany) our Testamente (wills) and Vorsorgevollmächte (living wills) and going to the Supermarkt (yes, I remembered the cheddar this time). The Notar's secretary gave June 11th for the next available appointment. We'll have to work extra hard to stay alive until then.

The rest of the day involved translating information sheets about our exchange students to send to the organizers in Sheboygan, reading a little from the February issue of Deutsch Perfekt, a bit of cleaning, an aborted nap, a call to my mom (who is still alone while my dad gallivants around Iceland searching for the elusive northern lights), and several emails.

Look! He found them!

For dinner we had steak (€15 of the above bill) and mashed but lumpy parsnips-n-taters. Since I had spent nearly the entire damn day on the computer, I took some time after dinner to study while M watched the new "Grand Tour" episode.

Samstag

€0

My friends and former students, Mohammad and Hassan, had invited us to Mohammad's place in Tübingen for an Arabic meal this afternoon. They served Frikeh, Kebab mit Aubergine, Tomaten und Pilze, Tabule, and Schakria. It was all very delicious, and we had a nice time and good conversation.

We brought them Kleinigkeiten (small gifts one brings when invited to someone's home in Germany), but they were things we already had. I have a stash of Wisconsin- and Sheboygan-themed gifts for such occasions, because I like to give people things from the homeland.

We were home by early evening and had a quiet Saturday night.

Sonntag

€0

Here's the thing about Sundays in Germany/Swabia: Everything is closed. Unless we go out to a restaurant or tourist attraction, stop at a gas station mini-mart, or shop online, there's no way to spend money on a Sunday. We generally stay home, watch Sendung mit der Maus in the morning and grumble if it doesn't end with "Shaun das Schaf" (it did today - Bitzer the dog had to wear the cone of shame and the sheep first laughed at him, then felt sorry for him), I read, nap, or study and don't have to feel guilty for not cleaning because one shouldn't work on God's holy Swabian Sunday.

We ate up some leftovers for dinner, which meant no new expenses and no wasting.

Therefore my grand total for this lazy week is: €408,06.

But then I opened my wallet (purse, for my British readers) to get Euro bills to take the above photo and found only a 50. M was also no help, so I donned my hat and boots and stomped to the Geldautomat (ATM) to get the bills I needed for the photo. If I add that to my total, it comes to €558,06. Then again, I haven't spent that yet, so I'll stick with €408,06.

During the coming week I will be taking the train to Esslingen (€11,90) for several meetings, and I will also need to fill the gas tank (€75?). Not because I used the car so much (because I didn't), but because M will be driving to Esslingen and back to replace his mum's laptop. I clearly have much more spare time than he does, and since a new Aral has opened right near Real, it's no trouble for me to pop over and fill up. 

I think I'll do this again, though I don't know if I'll blog about it. The original Money Diaries (I linked to them in Part 1) are much more interesting than what I've written!

What do you spend in a week? 

Are you willing to keep track and find out? :-)

Life Lately and Money Diaries Part 1

One of the blogs I read is Adventitious Violet, by a Canadian living in Scotland. SCOTLAAAANNNNNDDDDDD!!!  Oops, sorry. Recently she wrote a "Money Diaries" post explaining her expenses for a week, and I thought that could be interesting and different. I decided to combine it with a kind of update on what I've been getting up to lately.

In the interest of transparency, I should admit I'm not actively working at the moment. I'm on call at the VHS to fill in when a teacher is sick or has an appointment, and I still lead the conversational English class with M's employees once a week. But other than that I'm on sabbatical. Yes, I'm officially a "lazy bahstud," a term we use affectionately. M says he likes having me home, though (in a definitely non-chauvinist kind of way! Remember, he does most of the cooking...).

Since it's winter I'm also not traveling much. I even cancelled a trip to Esslingen this week after realizing I would bring no "value-add" to the meeting I'd planned to attend - otherwise I would have at least been able to report a train ticket. In the end this was not a very normal week, and I should probably try this again in a warmer month when I am more active. Or when I have to fill the gas tank!

If you're hoping to see from this post what it generally costs to live in Germany for a week, I'm afraid this won't help. Any food we already had (like Tuesday's pizza and almost everything for Monday's dinner) doesn't figure into this week's total. I'm not including utilities or bills - just what came out of my pocket (or debit card).

Right, enough excuses. Let's try this.

Job: Substitute teacher, English tutor, Hausfrau
Age: 50
Location: Really-small-town, SW Germany
Salary: €X000 + occasional earnings from substitute teaching (1 day/4hrs = €175)
Housemates: 1 (2 of us total)
Loans: Mortgage
Credit Card debt: €0  (paid off each month)
Health Insurance: €464,65 per month (just for me)

Money Diaries 21.01. - 27.01.2019

Part 1: Monday-Wednesday

Montag

€15,66   Real  (local Supermarkt)

€  3,65   Bäckerei Saur

Got up at 7:30, checked email and the daily damage report U.S. news, lazed around and read (finished a Krimi) with coffee, wrote emails to my parents and messages to my kids, showered, went to Real. On the way home I resolved to thoroughly clean the common areas of the house. Throughout the day I plotted my dad's current locations in Iceland on Google maps. He's on a photography excursion in search of the northern lights.

I tidied up a little, boiled potatoes for tonight's dinner (Bauernfrühstück), and tried to choose my next book. After lunch I made another cup of coffee and called my mom for a short chat. I call my parents every Monday afternoon (monthly flatrate add-on €8?). After that I read the first chapter of a nonfiction book about the Thirty Years' War (1618-1648) and remembered my resolution to clean. Sigh...Had a snack. Updated this post. Internet went down. This is good - forced offline time!! Vacuumed.

Read a bit, nodded off, daughter's message woke me up. I schnibbled everything for dinner, M came home and cooked the pork tenderloin, and while it rested in the oven I made the Bauernfrühstück. We watched "Big Bang Theory" and "Young Sheldon," then I watched the latest episode of "Outlander" and grumbled about it. Did the dishes, had a glass of wine. Went to bed at midnight.

Dienstag

€  6,36   Aldi (Bergkäse)

€23,00   Mustafa (Kohrabi, peanuts, eggs, Feldsalat, parsnips, red pepper, potatoes, apple, oranges, bananas)

Up for coffee and a bit of reading (including the local newspaper), showered. More reading, having switched books to A Walk Across the Sun, a novel about human trafficking originating in India (then Paris, then the U.S.). Made an egg sandwich. Started studying for my Jagdschein at 10:00. I'm focusing on the topic of Haarwild, or furry animals. I'm reading & highlighting, taking notes, making flashcards, reviewing...When M came home for lunch we finally made the decision that yes, I will sign up for the 3-week hunting course in summer. After lunch I made another cup of coffee and continued studying.

On Tuesday evenings Mustafa, our "vegetable guy," parks his produce truck outside our neighbors' house for 20 minutes, and I buy from him the fruits, vegetables, and eggs I think we'll need for the week. It's not local produce because he loads his truck from the Großmarkt, but it's better than from the Supermarkt, we like supporting his business, and it's so convenient for us! Today this was the only time I actually stepped out of the house. Don't judge - it was cold!

In the evening I read, watched a little TV with M, we discussed the incident in D.C. with the Native American and the smirky teen, and I filled out my registration form for the summer Jagdkurs.

Mittwoch

€  21,15  Metzger/Bäcker

€  18,48  Real

€    5,50  Zeitschrift

€100,00  Jägervereinigung dues

After the typical start to my day, I bundled up and drove to the local butcher and then the Supermarkt. I'd planned pork roast, roast potatoes and Kohrabi for dinner tonight. Our favorite bakery delivers rolls to our butcher, so I grabbed two Laugenbrötchen as well as the roast, ham, and salami. At Real I picked up a few things and finally remembered apple juice, but forgot cheddar cheese and I'm dangerously low on that. Yes, I make a list, but I'd forgotten to put cheddar on it. On the way out I stopped at the tobacco & news kiosk and bought a hunting magazine.

I came home and emailed my registration form to the Landesjagdschule as well as my membership request to the nearest Jägerverein (hunting club - joining the club saves me several hundred Euros for the class). It's a real commitment now. Yikes.

My study materials were beckoning me, so I made a cup of coffee and got to work. Just kidding. I read two pages and fell asleep.

When I woke up I prepared the roast and boiled the potatoes. When M came home he found me studying, and then he helped me with the rest of dinner prep. The roast was delicious and not dry! I have finally accepted that I need to stop buying cheaper pork roast from the Supermarkt but from the butcher instead. There I get a good and durchwachsen (marbled) hunk of Schweinehals with enough fat on it to keep the meat moist and tender.

I cleaned up the kitchen and checked email, finding one from the woman who runs the Hofgut* near the Jagdschule. I have reserved the room she has available for the first week of class. I didn't have to pay anything yet or even give her my credit card info, so I don't have to reveal here what I'm paying for that flat. I think I'll look for a more reasonably-priced room for the other weeks.

Acknowledging that this post is already long and rather dull, I'm splitting the Money Diaries post into two. Click here for Part 2.

Total expenditures Monday - Wednesday: €193,80

*I have no translation for Hofgut. She and her family live there, they breed and raise Labradors and Chihuahuas, they keep other animals like sheep and Damwild (fallow deer), but it's fancier than a farm.

The Revenge of the Duftkerze

I love Duftkerzen (scented candles). I'm picky about the scent and don't like them all, but in general I enjoy a gentle scent in the house despite the Feinstaub (fine particle polution). M hates them. Hates. He does not throw that word around lightly and would only use it toward someone who would do his family harm. And Duftkerzen. 

Some days after his lunch break I will light one for an hour or two, and when he comes home two or three hours after I've blown it out, I hear him open the door, walk over to change his shoes to Hausschuhe, and snort. He knows. When he finds and greets me he snorts again and asks, "Did you light a Duftkerze?" "Yes, but I blew it out three hours ago!" Still...he knows.

I know this about him and I accept it. But sometimes I still need to light one because they make me happy. Especially lavendar, rosemary, sandalwood...Natural scents, not fake flowery, soapy, or fruity ones. But to him it doesn't matter what they smell like. They're all bad.

Last week wednesday early afternoon I lit this lovely little candle in the bedroom. I blew it out an hour later and thought it just added a nice subtle scent. I waited for M to say something about it when we went to bed, but he didn't. Whew.

The next afternoon I lit it again but forgot about it. It burned for about three hours. Ok, fine...I blew it out when I remembered, and we had a good seven hours before bedtime so I opened the window.

We needed to be up earlier than usual the next morning because I had an excursion and M needed to drive me to the Park & Ride before work, so we went to bed a bit before midnight. Oh. My. God. The bedroom stank so strongly of that damn Duftkerze I feared retribution. I like its herbal scent! But it was still way too strong after seven hours despite the open window. It could have covered the scent of a corpse.

I got into bed before he did and pretended to be asleep when he opened the door. Then I lay there awake for three hours feeling guilty. Was the scent somehow meant to revitalize rather than relax? He couldn't sleep either, judging from how much he tossed around. I tried burying my face in my pillow, but I couldn't breathe. I threw the duvet over my head but it got too warm. I thought about fleeing to the living room sofa, but I figured I should suffer with him since I'm the fool who'd lit the damn thing and forgot about it. Sometime after 3:30 I finally fell asleep.

In the morning M wordlessly moved our air filter (which we normally turn on in the dining room after we've cooked tacos or fish) into the bedroom and turned it on volle Pulle (full blast). I returned from my excursion mid-afternoon, and by then the room smelled like worms on a rainy day. Probably the air filter was trying to kill itself. I turned it off and opened the window.

An hour later I went back to check things out, and the candle smell was back! OMG...I think it got into the walls and the bedding. I started pondering what to do. I could...

1. light a different Duftkerze to counter this scent. Not willing to risk legitimate grounds for divorce, I thought...
2. we could move into one of the guest rooms for a few weeks. But they are full of innumerable piles of my "I'll deal with this later" stuff. Right. Clearly, there's only one choice.
3. We need to sell the house.

With M, Reason returned home while I was trying to figure out how many weeks it would take us to organize the junk in the Keller to get the house ready for showings, and he assured me we don't need to move. What we needed was proper Lüften! Open up all the windows and doors in the entire house and exchange the air. Force that heinous Duftkerze smell out. It was a damp evening, though, and that's more of an afternoon thing. We did some mini-Lüften and hoped for the best.

That second night was slightly better. At least we didn't lose more sleep. The next day we did our Lüften properly like good Swabians, and it improved some more. It took several days, though, before the stink of that discourteous Duftkerze faded completely.

I can tell you this - I have sworn on my dead Sheltie's soul that I will never light another Duftkerze in the bedroom again, and it will be a good long while before I light one anywhere in the house. I've learned that lesson well. To his credit, M didn't give me any more grief about it than I gave myself. A lesser man and most women would be rubbing my nose in this misjudgement for weeks, no pun intended.

By now the bedroom is back to normal, the Duftkerze was evicted right after its photo was taken, and I have banished all my other Duftkerzen, scented soaps and Christmas incense cones to the basement. 

All's well that ends well. 

Life Lately

Ahh....Summer! Even if the Rhododendron and Azaleas are just a memory and the Vergissmeinnicht are finished as well, our garden is still blooming with all kinds of other pretty flowers I don't know the names of. We've got some Hortensie (German spelling), Gänseblümchen (daisies), and roses, and of course it's been Furztrocken (dry as a fart) in our village for a long while, so we have to water most evenings. Everyone else seems to grumble about rainy days, but I do not!

It was beautifully cool the last week or so, which I find I like better than stifling heat - to me that's anything above 27°C (I'm a bit of a wimp). The heat will start to pick up now, and I'll be yearning for fall before long.

I thought I would write a general post about what I've been getting up to lately, just because. So here is what I have been...

making

homemade deodorant! I saw this on our noon show, ARD-Buffet, and I decided to give it a try. I don't like the fact that most anti-perspirants have aluminum salts in them (that's what turns your shirt armpits off-color, and smearing a metal on our skin every morning can't be good for us), and this is a simple recipe! I used 100 ml Hamameliswasser (witch hazel) and 3 ml Odex. The first day I used it I wasn't sure, but by the second day I was pleased with the result. It's very neutral, and I'm assuming mild and good for the skin. I'll have to see how well it works when the temps rise above 25°C, but the woman who showed how to make it said she has used in all her travels, including in Africa.

writing

birthday cards and postcards to my children. They both live in Pennsylvania now, though they are still 6 hours apart by car! Their birthdays are 3 days apart in July.

re-reading

the Razor's Edge, by W. Somerset Maugham. It's an old favorite, and it's possible this is my second time re-reading it.

sending

two exchange students home three weeks early due to...let's just say misdeeds.

re-thinking

the value of the exchange program. I just don't know if it's worth it to take a chance we'll get more kids who pull what those kids did. Apart from that, one in particular was a huge pain in my neck and shockingly immature. This is volunteer work for me; I should not have to put up with that crap.

eating

lamb chops - the taste of Scotland

Lachsburger und Pommes

When my salmon burger came, I asked the waitress for some ketchup before trying the curry-mustard dip that came with it. I could have saved her the trouble, the curry dip was so delicious! And I don't even really like curry.

growing

cherry tomatoes! I love tomatoes, M hates them, but luckily for me he likes growing vegetables. We've got some peppers growing in the same Hochbeet and Kopfsalat in another one, but the tomatoes are what make me happy. My snack yesterday afternoon was a few too many Tomaten-Mozzarella-Basilikum Spieße.

feeling guilty about

the amount of sleeping I do! I swear, I nap as much as a useless cat. We're pretty sure I was a cat in a former life, which keeps us wondering what on earth I did to get down-graded to human in this one.

daydreaming about

SCOTLAND!!!! Our next trip to Mull is happening in September, and we're both looking forward to it. I've done my share of gallivanting this year, but it's M's only time away from the office. 

Isle of Mull looking north over the sea

Highland coos on Mull

Urquhart Castle on Loch Ness

What have you been up to?

Fünf Fragen am Fünften; Juli 2018

Es ist wieder der Fünfte des Monats, und Nic von Luzia Pimpinella hat der Blogger-Welt fünf neue Fragen gestellt. Obwohl ich sie auf Englisch beantworten könnte, schreibe ich doch lieber auf Deutsch. Es ist eine gute Übung, und irgendwie denke ich, auf Deutsch kann ich ehrlicher sein.

Also, hier sind Nics Fragen und meine Antworten.

1. Was magst du am Sommer am liebsten?

Alles in der Natur ist so grün, farbenfroh, und lebhaft. Ähm, ok heute regnet es zum ersten Mal seit Wochen, und unser Rasen ist eher braun-grünlich. Ich mag es, wenn es abends kühl ist, und die lange Tage genieße ich. Ich mag frisches Obst, Smoothies und Straßencafés. 

2. Was an dir ist typisch deutsch?

Ha! Ich liebe diese Frage, weil ich keine Deutsche bin! Ich glaube - und hoffe - dass ich mehr deutsche Eigenschaften habe als amerikanische. Ich bin keine Träumerin, sondern ein Realist. Ich bin ehrlich und direkt, aber nur mit meinen Kindern, M, Fremden, und Deutschen. Wahrheit und Direktheit sind für viele meiner Landsleute beängstigend. Neulich wollte eine Ami-Mutter mit mir über ihren Sohn reden. Ich habe ihr gesagt, ich rufe sie gerne an, aber ich werde ehrlich sein. Ich habe bis jetzt nichts mehr von ihr gehört.

Ich bin pünktlich und weiß es zu schätzen, wenn andere pünktlich sind. Ich bezahle lieber bar statt mit Kredit Karte. Ich bin selbstkritisch. Ich respektiere und folge Regeln - bei rot stehen, auf die Geschwindigkeitsgrenze achten, Nachtruhe respektieren... Und ich trinke lieber Sprudel als stilles Wasser!

3. An welchem Kurs oder Workshop würdest du gern teilnehmen bzw. was würdest du gern mal lernen?

Ich brauche hier kein Konjunktiv! Ich werde an einem Falknerkurs teilnehmen! Ich habe schon mit zwei Jagd-/Falknerschulen gesprochen, und die Kurse sind wahrscheinlich im Herbst oder Winter. Ich lese und lerne schon, denn der Kurs wird nicht einfach sein. Ich will meinen Falknerjagdschein oder wenigstens meinen Sachkundenachweis machen!

4. Wo bist du deinem Partner zuerst aufgefallen oder er auch dir?

Diese Frage habe ich schon beantwortet, also ich sage hier nur: Mein Mann ist mir 1986 in seiner Heimatstadt (Esslingen) aufgefallen, aber ich bin ihm zuerst ein paar Jahre später in meiner Heimatstadt (Sheboygan, Wisconsin, USA) aufgefallen! Wir kennen uns schon seit fast 30 Jahren.

5. Welcher Cocktail beschreibt dich am besten?

Das ist eine lustige Frage, aber ich kenne wenige Cocktails. Cosmopolitan - sicher nicht! Tequila Sunrise - zu süß. Sex on the Beach - eher nicht. Irgendwas Kaltes und vielleicht auch ein bisschen sauer. 

Wein wäre einfacher - ein trockener Grauburgunder. Den trinke ich am liebsten, und ich trage auch sehr gern graue Kleidung. Ich war noch nie in der Weinregion Burgund, aber wer weiß?

Zum ersten Mal habe ich es geschafft, die fünf Fragen am Fünften, am Fünften zu beantworten! Ich freue mich schon auf die Fragen für August.

Cheers!

Insel Mull, Schottland

Slow Down, or not

I'm an admitted song-obsessor. I hear a new beautiful song, and I listen to it 20 times before I go to bed that night, and it's stuck in my head for days. One of my former students posted this song on social media, which is how I first heard it earlier today.

I know how these links only work for short periods, so the song is called "Slow Down" and the version I heard is by Nicole Nordeman (not the one of the same title by Selena Gomez - yuck!)

I love these mother ballads. I think my favorite is "Durch meine Finger rinnt die Zeit" - the German version of "Slipping Through My Fingers" by ABBA. I like the German best because I first saw the musical in German when M's sister and her husband sent us to that musical in Stuttgart as a wedding gift in 2006.

But back to "Slow Down." I find it a lovely song, and as it started and I realized the idea, I figured I'd tear up at some point. I did not. I must be a different kind of mom. Yes, the time flies by though it doesn't seem like it will in the middle of a collicky night or when the police call to say they have your teenager in the back of their car. But I loved every phase and step of my kids' growing up years. I thought they were adorable when they were newborns, and then they were able to crawl. That was cute and scary because we had to redecorate, and then they were able to walk. (My daughter took her first steps holding onto her Opa's fingers in an airplane on our way back from Germany!)

Then they learned to talk, and I taught them some German right from the start. I read them children's books, sang German songs with them, sent them off in the grocery store to find "zwei Äpfel, vier Bananen, und Salat." My daughter called her younger brother "Baby Ucky", and when he could speak he called her "Alla". I can't really explain either one, because "Ucky" was Alex and "Alla" was Stephanie.

Their language skills thankfully improved, and we starting having real conversations. I can still talk to my daughter about anything under the sun except that one thing no daughter ever wants to talk to her mother about, and my son is very open with me:  (yesterday) "Ucky, during your growing up years, did you EVER lie to me, and if so, did you get the feeling I did not believe you?"  Without hesitation, his answer; "Yes and yes." There were no follow-up questions because I didn't need them. I knew I had done my job.

The hardest thing I recall from the early years was dropping them at kindergarten because I believe kids are inherently mean. "That's an ugly dress!" "Why did you bring THAT for show-and-tell?" "There's no room for you at our table!" I hated the thought of my children being sad.

Alla and Ucky

But we all made it through those first days of kindergarten, and they found their way after that.

They learned to read, and we talked about books. They learned about astronomy, and I showed them the Big Dipper and Orion. They learned about Egyptian history and I brought out my big book about Egypt. They struggled with quadratic equations, and I told them to ask their father.

I tried to get my son interested in horseback riding, judo and soccer. He took up baseball, basketball, and for a few horrifying months, football. My daughter dutifully took riding lessons, stuck with soccer for two years, endured softball and Girl Scouts (I wanted the Thin Mints!), and joined the forensics (public speaking) team I coached.

When my daughter went off to college, I helped her pack and drove her up there (roughly an hour from our home), to the college I'd attended 24 years earlier. Driving home alone I knew I was supposed to be sad and all that, but all I could feel was excitement. What an adventure she was beginning! I could not wait to hear about the friends she would find, the classes she would take, and the decisions she would make (the good and the bad).

I had the same experience when I drove with my son to the university he was considering for a college visit. I didn't know the school at all, but I knew how important his attendance there would be, the friends, the classes, the experiences...

The kids have traveled with M and me to Scotland, Germany, Austria, and Tennessee. The older they get, the more fun they are to travel with.

Scotland, 2017

What I'm trying to say is that every age they have been has been better than the one before. I really like that song, but I did not need my children to slow down. The pace of their lives has been and will continue to be just as it should be.

My children are not perfect and neither am I. But I consider myself lucky to be a part of their lives and I hope they have learned something from me along the way. That's our job as parents, right? To give our kids the best start in life they can have. And then let them go.

Never mind that I nearly passed out when my son had 4 teeth pulled.
Never mind that I didn't attend every basketball game or bowling match my kids participated in.
Never mind that I forgot my daughter was already 18 when she was applying for a new passport and advised her to wait a month until her 18th birthday.
Never mind that, when my son turned 3 and had to give up his Nuk (pacifier) because that was our rule, I skipped the country (taking a group of students to Germany for 15 days) and left him with his grandparents to deal with that.


We did ok. And I'm looking forward to every phase and step with them from this point on.

Ucky leaves home tomorrow morning to start a new life with his girlfriend in Pennsylvania. They've loaded up the truck and will say their good-byes before the sun rises. It's the start of a new adventure, and I am excited for them!!

Live it up, kids! Explore the world! Learn from your mistakes! Change the world for the better!

My favorite line from that song: "Before I knew it you were teaching me the only thing love can."

Fünf Fragen am Fünften: Juni 2018

It's well past the fifth of June, but it's been a busy few weeks. I hope I can remember how to link to Nic's blog for this fun link-up of five questions on the fifth - the alliteration is much better in German. Once again, I will answer in German as the questions and Nic's blog are in German.

1. Wenn du emigrieren müsstest (oder wolltest), in welches Land würdest du auswandern?

Das habe ich schon 2012 gemacht - von meinem Heimatland nach Deutschland. Das war schon lange mein Traum, und ich bin immer noch sehr glücklich hier. Ich könnte niemals zurück gehen. Wenn ich nochmal emigrieren müsste, dann nach Schottland! Das Land, die Landschaft, die Menschen...alles so wunderschön und herzlich.

2. Nach welchen Kriterien suchst du ein Buch aus und fällt es dir schwer, es einfach aufzugeben und nicht zu Ende zu lesen, wenn du es doch nicht so gut findest?

Die ursprüngliche Frage war über Filme, aber ich habe sie geändert, weil ich lieber Bücher lese als Filme schaue. Wie suche ich ein Buch aus? Ich mag interessante Titel, aber ich lese fast immer die Zusammenfassung - von Amazon, Goodreads, oder am Liebsten auf der Rückseite des Buches weil ich in einem Buchladen stehe und das Buch in der Hand habe. Hauptsache ist für mich, dass ich dabei etwas Neues lerne wenn ich ein Buch lese. Wenn das Thema oder das Genre mich interessiert, kaufe ich das Buch von dem kleinen Buchladen in meiner Stadt. Es fällt mir sehr schwer, ein Buch abzubrechen, nachdem ich angefangen habe, es zu lesen, aber ich habe schon welche abgebrochen. Moby Dick, zum Beispiel, und einige Krimis.

3. Wann hast du das letzte Mal zusammen mit anderen gesungen?

Vorletzte Woche! Ich war mit meiner Freundin Sophie und drei Austauschschülern in Berlin, und Sophie und ich haben "Oh, Where is My Hairbrush?!" von VeggieTales gesungen! Na ja, wenigstens die erste Strophe.

4. Was ist dir im Bezug aufs andere Geschlecht ein Rätsel?

Warum Sport (besonders American Football) ihnen so wichtig ist. Sie diskutieren alles ad nauseum, kennen Statistik von Jahren zuvor, und haben schlechte Laune wenn ihre Lieblingsmannschaft verliert. Es ist doch nur ein Spiel/Saison/Wettbewerb/Meisterschaft, und er kommt auch nächstes Jahr (oder in 2 oder 4 Jahren) wieder! M ist aber nicht so einer. Er schaut WM-Spiele und Formel-1 Rennen. Wir schauen alle Deutschland Spiele zusammen. Heute haben sie gegen Mexiko verloren. Das Leben geht weiter.

5. Was liegt auf deinem Nachttisch herum?

Mein selten benutzter Wecker, eine Lampe, meine Lesebrille, und zwei Bücher. Und etwas Staub.

Ich bin schon auf die Fragen für Juli bereit!!

Fünf Fragen am Fünften: April 2018

I stumbled across another blog recently that I have enjoyed reading. Until now I have stuck mainly to reading English blogs, but this one is in German, and Nic is a little closer to my age than most of the other bloggers I've come to know. I look forward to reading more.

I've been unsure what to write about again lately, but when I saw her "Fünf Fragen am Fünften" post - in which on the 5th of each month she poses 5 questions which she answers and invites other readers to answer as well - I thought, "Here is a new challenge! Write a blog post in German!" 

Of course, there will be mistakes, which hopefully M will be willing to help me correct...but mistakes are ok when you're writing in a second language, right?

So here we go!

1. Mit welchen berühmten Persönlichkeiten würdest du gerne mal eine wilde Party machen?

Partys - besonders die wilden - sind nicht so mein Ding, aber ein gemeinsames Abendessen mit den folgenden Personen könnte ich mir vorstellen:

1. Michael Jung (Vielseitigkeitsreiter, 3mal Olympiasieger, wohnt nicht weit von uns!)
2. Tanja Brandt, Poldi, und/oder Gandalf (Fotografin/Falknerin, Steinkauz, Weißgesichtseule)
3. Kevin Costner
4. Sean Connery
5. Miroslav Klose (Fußballer: "Ich schleppe meinen Kadaver noch ein bisschen rum.")

Michi Jung und fischerRocana, Kentucky 2017
Photo credit: meine Tochter

Yeah, that's him, and no,
I don't know what I was thinking with that hair style.
Photo credit: mein Vater (Kohler, WI 2003)

Und wenn wieder auferstehende Verstorbene auch dabei sein dürften,

1. Kahlil Gibran (Dichter, Schriftsteller)
2. Albert Payson Terhune & Lad (mein Lieblingsautor als ich jung war, und sein Collie)
3. Mark Twain

2. Singst du im Auto, wenn du alleine unterwegs bist?

Wenn ich alleine und nicht nervös bin, ja. Ich singe gerne (alleine), aber wenn ich auf der Autobahn fahre, zum Beispiel, fluche ich öfter als ich singe, weil es so schrecklich furchterregend ist. Gerade heute gab es zwei schwere Unfälle in der Nähe (1mal Autobahn, 1mal schmale, gerade Landstrasse) mit vielen Krankenwagen, Rettungskräften, Hubschraubern...) Gibt es keine anderen Autos um mich herum, was selten der Fall ist, dann kann ich mit meiner Playlist mitsingen.

3. Gibt es Sprüche oder Redewendungen, die ihr regelmäßig benutzt? Wenn ja, welche?

M und ich sagen oft, "Dann hamma koin Stress mehr." Dieser Spruch ist aus dem Film, "Schuh des Manitu". In der Nacht bevor Ranger und Abahachi umgebracht werden sollten, entschuldigt sich Abahachi. Ranger kontert, "Wieso? Jeder hat sein' eignen Marterpfahl...und morgen hamma koin Stress mehr." Das klingt vielleicht etwas makaber, aber wir sehen es eher positiv! Man kann sowieso nichts dagegen, wenn seine Zeit um ist. Also, look on the bright side!

source: Google images

Außerdem sage ich oft, z. B. wenn ich etwas habe fallen lassen, "Echt jetzt?!" oder auf Englisch, "Really?!?" Wenn ich völlig frustriert bin, sage ich "God in Heaven!" (ich weiß - Blasphemie) oder "For f*ck's sake!!" Und jedes Mal, wenn einer von uns irgendetwas über einen Löffel sagt, fragt die/der andere, "Why a spoon, Cousin?" [von "Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves"]. 

4. Glaubst du, dass es Menschen mit einer grundsätzlich positiven oder grundsätzlich negativen Aura gibt?

Ja, aber wenige. Ich kannte einen Mann in Wisconsin - ein Yogalehrer, ein spiritual guru (so scheint er), der bei Mönchen in den Himalaya gewohnt hat, wenn ich mich nicht irre - und jedes Mal wenn ich ihn sah, strahlte er positive Energie. Ich war immer beruhigt, wenn er in meiner Nähe war, obwohl ich ihm selten begegnet bin. So ist es auch mit einem Bekannten hier in Horb. Ich habe ihn gestern zufällig in der Stadt getroffen, und wir saßen eine Weile zusammen. Ich glaube, er ist nie aufgeregt, und wenn man mit ihm unterhält, denkt man, "Er mag es wirklich, mit mir zu reden."

5. Was machst du meistens um drei Uhr nachmittags?

O je, das wird jetzt peinlich. Es ist nicht selten, dass ich um dieser Zeit ein Nickerchen mache. Wenn ich unterrichte, ist das normalerweise morgens. Dann gönne ich mir nachmittags eine Pause. Auch wenn ich nicht arbeite - nach dem Mittagessen lese ich ein bisschen, und irgendwann schlafe ich ein. Vielleicht war ich in einem früheren Leben eine Katze...

doing what cats do best