Driving in Germany 7: The End

I admit defeat. I'm throwing up the sponge, as Huck Finn would say. I'm done. Thank God for public transportation in Germany.

Photo credit: dumpaday.com

M and I went to Esslingen yesterday so that we could walk from his mother's place to the Grabkapelle Rotenberg. I drove there in the morning, and although M seemed even more nervous this time than in the previous two times I drove long distance (and by "long distance" I mean longer than 10 minutes but less than an hour), it went mostly fine.

We had a really nice walk, sat with his mom afterwards and chatting about all kinds of things, and then went for dinner down in Esslingen at a restaurant we like very much. It was a nice day off (national holiday), and I'm really glad we spent the day that way.

The mistake I made was choosing to drive home after nightfall.

Again I didn't do well with shifting gears (I've probably been doing that wrong since I started driving stick-shift in 1998), choosing a speed, and rounding curves, but I didn't hit anything or anyone, so I guess that's a point for me. I and the drivers around me avoided accidents during that hour, but when we stopped for gas seven miles from home, I handed over the keys and sat sobbing in the passenger seat while M filled up and paid. What a shitty way to end a really nice day.

So what's the big deal about driving over here?

Speed 1

I already earned one speeding ticket for driving 78 km/h in a 70 zone (which is less than 5 miles over the speed limit, folks), so I try to stick to the posted speed limit to avoid another one. This means I have angry fuming Germans behind me much of the time.

Speed 2

Unless there is a posted speed limit on the Autobahn (100 or 120 km/h, slower in construction zones), if I'm not driving at the very least 120 (75 mph), I pretty much have to stay in the right-most lane. This meant, last night, that I kept getting stuck behind cars going even slower than I wanted to go. Honestly, at one point the car in front of me was going 70 km/h (43.5 mph). Ironically, I think that's too slow to be safe on the Autobahn!

Since I am too terrified to merge into the middle lane to pass if I see any cars or headlights in my rearview mirror since they are usually coming at between 120 and 220 km/h, I was stuck for quite a while, and frequently.

Speed 3

There should be no problem with me going 100-120 km/h as long as I stay in the right lane of the Autobahn. But when there is a guy in front of me going even slower and I want to pass him, I need to steel my nerves long enough to briefly move into the middle lane where the average speed seems to be 120-180 km/h regardless of the speed limit. I don't even need to mention the left-most lane, but just for kicks and grins, drivers with the balls to drive there are going 160-240 km/h (99-160 mph) unless there's a traffic jam. I guess they're a little slower in the sections where there are speed limits, but drivers willing to go only 10-20 km/h over the speed limit must stay out of that lane. It is for passing and reckless speeds only.

In the U.S. - or at least in Wisconsin - drivers on the freeways in all lanes are driving roughly the same speed. The limit is 65 mph, and drivers tend to stick between 65 and 75 mph. [That's 104-120 km/h. Huh - look at that! My comfort zone...] Imagine, though, Wisconsin drivers, a car passing you at 220 km/h (137 mph) or even just 180 km/h (112 mph). Knowing this happens every few moments on the Autobahn, I'm hesitant, to say the least, to venture into any lane to my left for any reason. And passing on the right is illegal in Germany.

Merging Traffic

It is impossible for me to trust other drivers on the road, and this becomes the most obvious when one or two lanes of traffic appear on my right and need to merge into my lane. I do realize that my inability to trust others leads to me actually being a menace on the Autobahn. Drivers' only hope of survival is when everyone acts predictably. If cars are merging into my lane at  100-120 km/h (62-75 mph), I need to keep a constant speed, not brake, not accelerate, and let them figure out how to get in front of or behind me. I can't move into the middle or left lane because I'm not willing to go fast enough. In Wisconsin I would get the hell out of their way, and it is normally easy to do so - I just merge left (which is not dangerous because no one coming up behind me is driving 112 mph) and keep going. Here I have cars in two lanes to my left going much faster than I'm going, cars in one or two lanes merging from the right going about my speed because they've just come around a curve but are now accelerating, and I feel like I'm about to be squished like a worm on the street during the running of the bulls in Pamplona.

The fact that this was going on in the dark with blinding headlights all around made it all the worse, of course. I think I will be better off taking my chances with the drunks and shady characters on the night trains than with other drivers on the Autobahn.

Lack of shoulders

In Wisconsin most city streets are wide enough for at least three cars to drive abreast and most roads and all freeways have shoulders. In case of emergency, accident, or panic, one can just get off the road and out of the way. I guess there's not enough space in Germany for roads to also have shoulders. They have thick wooden stakes and ditches instead. Sometimes it's a curb or a stone wall even on a country road. But no shoulder. A shoulder is comforting. A shoulder next to the road says, "Look, you should stay off me, but I'm here if you get into trouble." A German road just says, "Oh, you're in trouble? I don't care, and you are screwed!"

Daily reports of accidents and deaths

There is no day that passes without reports in our little local newspaper about serious accidents resulting in life-threatening injuries or deaths - except Sundays and holidays, when we don't get a newspaper. Quite often the accidents occur during an Überholmanöver (one car passing another). It's safe to assume the driver doing the passing was just too impatient and passed when it was unsafe to do so.  This is likely to happen near me, since as I already said, I try to stick close to the speed limit to avoid additional tickets - but more because I'm still working very hard at even knowing what the speed limit is on any given stretch of road.

Update: the day I published this blog post, this happened in northwestern Germany. The details are too grim for me to want to translate it, so the picture will have to do for readers who don't understand German. Yes, one of the things you see in that picture is half a car.

If I were able to embrace reckless speeds, not get nervous about frustrated and angry tailgaters, and trust other drivers, perhaps this whole "driving in Germany" thing would work, especially if Dori the fish were sitting beside me singing, "Just keep driving, just keeping driving, that's what we do...we drive, drive". But I am not a confident driver (here - I have no issues driving in the U.S.!) and it is therefore dangerous for me to be on German roads. It is better for everyone if I just stay within five miles of our house and take the train or a bus everywhere else.

So....yeah. I have heard many Americans - especially the teenagers in my German classes - say that driving in Germany with no speed limit sounds SO COOL!!  "OMG, what fun!! That would be SOOO  AWESOME!!!"  I think it can only be fun if one is ignorant of the dangers, has a death wish, or just doesn't care about living or dying. It's not fun driving on the Autobahn. It's hard work and takes every ounce of concentration you have.

People who are afraid of horses don't ride. People who are afraid of heights don't climb ladders or church steeples. People who are afraid of water don't swim. So I don't see any reason why someone who is terrified of driving in Germany should drive in Germany. The trains and buses here are fabulous. It's perhaps a little more expensive than driving, but it's a lot cheaper than a fender-bender, which M tells me would likely cost several thousand Euros because of our fancy park-assist feature in the front and back bumpers. It's likely enough that will happen eventually since there is no way for me to avoid driving to the grocery store and the schools where I volunteer. But throwing myself into a situation that is dangerous for not only M's car and me but everyone else on the road as well (i.e. me driving more than five miles from home) just seems foolhardy to me.

Am I being rational? Probably not. How many of your fears are rational?


In case I have any German readers, I'd like to make one plea. In the future when you are driving around and find yourself behind someone who is not driving exactly as you would like him or her to drive (not fast enough, too hesitant, not wanting to overtake another vehicle, etc.), please be careful and patient. It may very well be that the driver is terrified already of the dangers on German roads, and you riding her tailpipe or gesturing wildly, gunning your engine and swerving recklessly around her will only make the situation worse. I have never heard of a driving situation improving because one of the drivers lost his mind with impatience and frustration.

I'll end with a picture of a puppy, because puppies make everything better.

September Highs and Lows

In August I briefly tried a weekly update based on an idea from another blogger, but after three of those I decided to change to what I used to do with my kids at dinner (yes, my kids and I had dinner together most evenings even when they were teenagers!). I'd ask them "What was your high today?" and "What was your low today?" Come to think of it, I may start that with them again despite the distance and that they are both in college. Highs and Lows: Facebook edition, perhaps.

Anyway, I thought for blog purposes I'd keep track of my highs and lows for the month, and publish at the end. So here we go...

HIGHS

• Spending a long weekend in Vienna with my Schwiegermutter, where we met my parents who were there celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. It was fabulous! My parents were on a cruise with a group of friends from Sheboygan and several relatives, so in addition to it being a special occasion, it was fun to see 12 other people I knew from "back home" as well!


• While standing in the middle of a square in Vienna studying our map, I happened to see a group of people walk past us with "Esslinger Feuerwehr" (Esslingen Fire Department) on the backs of their jackets! As I pointed that out to my Schwiegermutter, three of them turned around and looked back because they had recognized us!*  Those "small world" experiences always blow my mind. The number of things that had to happen at exactly the right time for us to bump into each other in a huge city...


• During my Schwiegermutter's "Fun with English" (adult) course, one gentleman said to me, "You don't really speak like an American. I can understand you." My British Schwiegermutter replied, "Oh yes, although she's American, she speaks very good English!"  :-)


• Receiving nine emails from my son, who has started college for real. He took classes last year at the local UW-extension, but now he's living in a dorm with a great roommate and doing well!


• Finally - after five failed attempts this summer - participating in a guided city tour of Horb!


• Trying a new roast beef recipe, which turned out to be delicious - due mainly to my husband's skills in the kitchen. It was equally good the next day, even cold.


• Reading other expat bloggers' posts about traveling, everyday life, adventures, frustrations and successes. I still get excited when I see that someone on my "blog roll" has published something new, and we sometimes comment on each others' posts. Hm...I'm enjoying connecting with people. This is new...


• Finding a message buried in Facebook from a former German exchange student (2004). She wrote to me in March, but I never noticed the "other" tab in the messages section of Facebook! I've finally responded and hopefully we'll connect. This was not a student who lived with us - rather she attended the school where I was teaching and was a student in my English (American Literature) class.


• Dining twice at our favorite local restaurant and finding out the chef is doing another Kochkurs (cooking class) this fall.

Bäckchen vom Jungschwein in Schnittlauchrahmsauce mit Gemüse und Bratkartoffeln
Cheeks of a young pig in chive sauce with vegetables and fried potatoes

• Sunday afternoon naps on the sofa during Formula-1 races. Who am I kidding? Afternoon naps on the sofa even on non-Sundays.


• Watching this 10-minute clip of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I find him (usually) so darn funny, and I do miss his show.


• An impromptu train ride to Stuttgart just to bum around the Big City. I explored places in the city I had not seen before - which isn't surprising considering that, other than my nature walk a few weeks ago, I have hardly strayed off the main Fußgängerzone (Königstraße). I'm getting more interested each time I go to Stuttgart!

Galateabrunnen

• While in Stuttgart I actually went shopping! This is unusual for me because I really don't like to shop except for books. I bought a new fall jacket and a pair of shoes I think even my daughter would approve of. And some books.


• Martin made Wiener Schnitzel - the real thing, with veal rather than the pork we usually use. Holy heavens, it was amazing! Unfortunately veal is more expensive than pork €27 ($34) per kilogram versus €12 ($15) at our local butcher, but since the veal needs to be thinner than the pork, the actual price difference between 4 Schweineschnitzel (€6) and 4 Kalbschnitzel (€10,50) is negligible. Consider also that the Wiener Schnitzel my dad had in Vienna cost €23 and the fact that we got 4 meals (2 for each) out of what we bought that day...I can hardly count all the highs in this paragraph!!

• Starting to discuss with Martin a trip back to the Isle of Mull in Scotland for 2015.

Glengorm Castle, where we were married

The view from our quarters

LOWS

• Hm. Uh...


• Ok, got one! Changing back to my fall Federbett (down comforter) on September 1st after using my summer Federbett for less than one month. That's not really a low either, though, because it's so wonderfully cuddly!


• Learning that cappuccino is spelled that way and not "cappucino," and wondering how many times I've spelled it incorrectly in previous blog posts.


• Missing a response from the editor of our local paper asking if he could publish my feedback in the next day's edition because his email had ended up in my spam folder.  :-(

On the horizon for October...

• We have nothing major planned. I'll be teaching the Englisch-AG twice a week and chaperoning the Lebenshilfe group three times total including a day outing to Freudenstadt.


• Sleeping in on October 3rd because it's Tag der Deutschen Einheit - the Day of German Unity - a national holiday. Even M will take most of the day off!


• Hoping to get in a walk from M's mother's place to the Grabkapelle (funerary chapel) Rotenberg, situated on a hill overlooking Stuttgart. This is a walk I fondly remember from my exchange student days. I remembered it being a several-hours walk through lush forests and fields. Google maps (which we didn't have back in 1986) tells me it takes about 45 minutes. Hm.


• Most likely a day trip to Tübingen, since I've been itching to get back there.


• Getting some serious writing done! I hit a slump in the summer when I had plenty of time and no excuses, and now it's time to get going again.


• Yard work.

*I wish I had a great and funny story about why the Esslingen firefighters recognized us, but it's just this: the Feuerwehr hosted a group of visitors from Sheboygan, Wisconsin earlier this summer, and my Schwiegermutter and I accompanied and assisted the group.

What were your highs and lows this month?

Off Topic: A Game for Readers

Martin and I watched a short documentary tonight about men and women - about the differences between us, the ways our brains work, how we listen (Yes, men listen! They just listen differently!), our strengths and weaknesses, etc.. I think it was called "Brain Games." It was really interesting!

One of the challenges they did with pairs of women and pairs of men was having them guess book titles based on clues their partner gave. Their test was to see whether men or women could give clues using the fewest number of words. One guess which gender won that one... But it got me to thinking what a great game that would be for a group (or even just a pair) of readers! I geeked out just a little bit.

Here's an example from their test:

Woman: "Call me Ishmael."   (3 words)
Man:   "Ahab."   (1 word)

The women lost.

And one more:

Woman: "Spanish knight on a horse."
Man:  "Windmill."

The women lost again.

The game doesn't cost anything (because you're not going to count the thousands of dollars/Euro you spent on the books you've read), you don't need to buy anything new to play it, and the absolute best of all, you don't even need an app for that!!

So here are the rules:
 Get your partner to guess the title of a book using ONLY ONE WORD as the clue. Obviously you can't use a word that is in the title.

That's it.  Well ok, you could make it a little more manageable by doing it like this at first:

   One word   =  5 points
   Two words =  4 points
   Three words = 3 points
   Four words =  2 points
   Five words =  1 point
   More than five words = 0 points

But that's the wimpy version, and the points shouldn't matter anyway.

Obviously it helps if you and your partner know each other well, and know what books you've read. M and I tried out the game and succeeded with the following clues (without giving the answers):

 Beth: "Petunias"

 Martin: "Fish."

 Beth: "Raft."  (For this one I needed to add a 2nd word, but I won't give it here.)

 ___

You could do this with various topics, I'm sure - movie titles, sports, famous people, dog breeds, states or cities, musicals - whatever common knowledge you have. But of course I can't think of a better topic than book titles!

If you're raising an eyebrow and wondering why I'm getting so excited about this, I love games that challenge my mind, memory, imagination, and education. I especially like games that are not about winning, but rather about just challenging one's knowledge. My family has spent evenings playing trivia only with questions we make up ourselves, and no one keeps score. The rule is only that the challenger must know the answer without looking anything up, and the question needs to be one that the other person could or should know (again, it helps when the players know each other pretty well).

One especially memorable example of that game happened a few years ago at my parents' house. First you need to know that my parents graduated from Lawrence University in 1964, I graduated from the same college in 1991, and my daughter will graduate from there next year.

Dad: "What is Lawrence's motto?"
Beth: "Would you like it in English or Latin?"

However, in a more humbling moment, I recently bet my British Schwiegermutter, who loves reading historical fiction more than any other genre, that James I of England was the same as James V of Scotland. She said it was James VI of Scotland. I lost the €5,00. What the hell was I thinking?

Anyway. try it out with your reader friends and let me know how it goes!

Press 2 for English

We all know an American who has liked or re-posted a visual on social media about being sick of having to "press 1 for English" and probably has grumbled about immigrants (especially from south of the border) who live in the U.S. but don't speak English (well). I often wonder if they have ever considered the reverse situation. What about a U.S.-American living in a country where English isn't the primary language?

I have met quite a few expats lately from English-speaking countries through their blogs and mine, and while every expat has a bad day or a frustrating week from time to time, they all seem to be integrating well and are making efforts to learn German. Many of them write about the German courses they are taking as well as the very understandable frustrations of learning the language. I also met an American recently who has been living here longer than I have but has not learned more than a few phrases in German. She told me it's too hard since the people around her speak the local dialect, which is like a non-English-speaking person saying he can't learn English because he chose to live in Mississippi where everyone tawks fuuny.

I often wished, when I heard the "press 1 for English" message in the U.S., that I could press 3 for German. I don't know if the people who gripe about pressing 1 are annoyed that they have to press a button or because Spanish is an option for those who need it. Since I've never heard anyone complain about entering their nine-digit social security number or ten-digit account number, I suspect the latter.

When I have the option to speak to someone in English, do I? It depends. In a restaurant or store, absolutely not - not even when they recognize my accent and speak English to me. When I am face-to-face with someone, for instance in the airport, and am asked "Englisch oder Deutsch?" I say either is fine. But on the phone dealing with insurance, credit cards, problems with a plane reservation...you bet I request English if I can. It is very difficult speaking a foreign language on the phone because you don't have the visual aids of eye contact, body language, and facial expression. You don't realize how much you rely on those cues until you try to speak and understand a foreign language on the phone. I am fluent enough in German, but if I have to deal with a problem on the phone and I'm not sure I will understand everything I need to understand, I am grateful when I have the English option.

I'd like to ask the Press 1 Protesters: Would you resent me for wishing I had the option to "press 2 for English" while I'm living in Germany? If you were in a country on vacation or for business where English is not the primary language and needed help with your stolen credit card, to change your flight arrangements, or medical help, would you not be grateful to have the option to communicate in English? Then what is wrong with a business or government organization in the U.S. (which has no official language) offering language options to phone callers? The complainers, I would imagine, would not enter a foreign country fluent in that country's language (if they entered a foreign country at all). I also would like to hear the quality of their English.

These signs*...

Way to champion English, folks!

This is my all-time favorite.

This attitude really grinds my gears. Why don't we embrace other languages? Why don't we improve our own language skills and not worry about which language others prefer to speak? If the only thing these people have to complain about today is that they have to "press 1," then they should consider themselves pretty damn lucky. First World problems, anyone?

Most people have heard this one:

  What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?

       trilingual

  What do you call a person who speaks 2 languages?       

       bilingual

  What do you call a person who speaks 1 language?        

       an American

I sure would love to see that stereotype change, along with the attitude so seemingly popular in the U.S. that people who don't speak and understand English should "get out." 

This one really should end with something about God's love.*

*The writer should also take the time to learn about periods, commas, apostrophes and capitalization, but...whatever.

What about a campaign with protester signs and ecards that send the message "This is America, and our language is English. If you don't know the difference between its and it's, lay and lie, are and our, and your and you're or you think it's acceptable to say 'me and my friend,' get the hell out of the U.S." But where on earth would all those people go?

England doesn't want them back.


*I have tried to find the sources of these photos, but they have been used and re-used so many times the original photographer has been lost. They can be found through a search for "misspelled Tea Party signs."

Wien / Vienna 4: Museums & Tombs

My husband says my posts are too long, and I can't very well disagree with him. I'll try to make this one both shorter and easier to skim through. I'll probably fail at the first, but let's see.

My MiL and I went to several museums, though I have a list of ones we had to skip that I want to see next time!

Nationalbibliothek - Prunksaal

It's like a church with beautiful ceiling frescos, a palace, and a library all rolled into one. The books...just....the BOOKS!!!

It costs €7,00 to get in, and I would recommend the audio guide for an additional €3 so you get some information about what you're seeing. There was also an exhibit while we were there centering on writing collected during WWI - journals, postcards, correspondence, essays, posters - which was very interesting but ends in October.

This is a working library. The books are in two layers, and the ones
tipped on their sides indicate that books behind them are in use.

Of course with bookshelves this high you
need tall ladders! There are 200,000 books
in this library

Karl VI had the Prunksaal built, and it was completed in 1726.

The frescos were painted by Daniel Gran

Ceiling fresco - the image of Karl VI is in the disc near the
center which is held by Hercules and Apollo. 

This is a schoolboy's essay response to the question "How would you defeat
the English?" The lad wrote that he would bring a soccer ball to
the field, and the English would get so worked up about playing
soccer and distracted that they could be easily defeated.

Kaiserappartements and Sisi Museum

These collections are in the Hofburg and your €11,50 ticket gets you into both as well as the Silberkammer (Silver Collection) and includes an audio guide. Unless you love staring at plates, dishes, goblets, and silverware, just walk through that one and spend more time in the Sisi Museum and apartments. You'll see replicas of some of her dresses, many personal items belonging to her, her travel medical kit, and the weapon that was used in her assassination. In the royal apartments you'll walk where Sisi and her husband Franz Josef once dined, rested, and tended to court business. You'll also see Sisi's scandalous workout room (her MiL and attendants were terribly distressed about Sisi's insistance on maintaining a vigorous workout schedule) and learn how her trademark knee-length hair was cared for.

One is not allowed to take photographs in these museums, but of course you can buy postcards in the gift shop afterwards.

Kapuzinergruft

The Kapuzinergruft is underneath the Kapuzinerkirche on the Neuer Markt. It is a crypt holding the sepulchres of 146 members of the royal family of the Habsburgs spanning three centuries of Austrian history. The ticket costs €5,50 and the crypt is open from 10:00 until 18:00. Pay the extra 50 cents for a guide showing you whose sepulchre is where and the family tree. Some may find it creepy, but I'd call it fascinating. Among many others, Sisi, Kaiser Franz Joseph, their son Rudolf who committed suicide in 1898, Maria Theresia (mother of Marie Antoinette), and Karl VI rest here.

Kaiser Karl VI

There is an alarm system in the crypt, and visitors are reminded not to touch the sepulchres. We heard it go off several times as tourists leaned over the iron fences to get their iPhones closer for a picture.

Photos are allowed, but visitors are also reminded that this is a burial place and they should be respectful. I cranked up my ISO and didn't use flash.

Sisi, Kaiser Franz Joseph, and their son Rudolf

Papyrusmuseum, Globenmuseum, Esperantomuseum

You pay €4,00 for a Kombiticket to visit the Papyrus Museum, the Globe Museum, and the Esperanto Museum, which are all part of the Nationalbibliothek. They are housed in separate buildings, but at the desk of any of them you can get a map showing how to find the others (they are not far apart). Ask at each place if there is an audio guide available and get one if you can (€2 - €3) - you can listen to as much or as little as you're in the mood for, but at least you'll have more information about what you're looking at. There are some explanation cards in English as well.

Correspondence regarding the Papyrus collection - the largest in the world

Globe Museum (obviously!) 

Catacombs under Stephansdom

You can only visit the catacombs with a tour which is given in English and German (everything the guide says in German he then says in English), but it only costs €5. The entrance to the catacombs is on the lefthand side of the sanctuary, and a sign tells you when the next tour is. You will see crypts, urns containing the entrails of Hapsburger royalty (their innards were buried here, their bodies in the Kapuzinergruft, and their hearts in urns in the Augustinerkirche), and rooms where the bodies of victims of the plague were laid, one which just looks like a pile of bones, and another where the bones were stacked and arranged (by prisoners) in an attempt to fit more bones in the relatively small space. I'm torn whether I recommend this or not, though I'm glad we took the tour.

Belvedere

I'd skip this one unless your heart's desire is to see Gustav Klimt's the Kiss, which is housed in the Oberes Belvedere. It costs €12,50 and I would have far rather put that toward the €14 admission to the Kunsthistorisches Museum. If you do walk here, definitely enter the gardens at the lower end to the left/west of Unteres Belvedere so at least you see a pretty view as you walk up the hill to other end.

There are many museums yet to see in Vienna! Which ones do you recommend?


Vienna 3: Sights, Monuments, and Free Stuff
Vienna 2: Hotels and Restaurants
Vienna 1